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The Final Frontier 2
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Final Frontier 2 (Disk 1 of 3).adf
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FICTION
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STP1
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STP1
Wrap
Text File
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1991-09-09
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7KB
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257 lines
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: PROMO 1 | STAR TREK:THE STAR TREK PARODY :
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
CUE ANNOUNCER: AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME ON NETWORK T.V....
STAAAAAR TREK:THE STAAAAAR TREK PARODY!!!
[ Screen fades to show a starfield. (Yes I know you can't see one! Use your
imagination or, better still, look out of the window at night). ]
PROMO ANNOUNER:
SOMEWHERE IN SPACE TWO STARSHIPS MEET...
Picard..: Red Alert - shields up - arm phasers and photon torpedoes.
[ Cut to Kirk. ]
Kirk....: Red Alert - battle stations!
AND LOCK IN DEADLY COMBAT...
[ Scene shows one starship firing a salvo of photon torpedoes and phasers at
another. Cut to bridge of Enterprise-D. ]
Worf....: Shields down to 41%! Forward shields gone!
ONLY ONE WILL SURVIVE THIS DEADLY GAME...
Scotty..: Sair, my poor wee bairns canna' take it no more!
Kirk....: Chekov, FIRE!.
[ Cut to LaForge. ]
LaForge.: COOLANT LEAK!! COOLANT LEAK!! I'm evacuating...
WHO WILL SURVIVE?
Spock...: Shields down to 40%
[ Scene shows another Galaxy Class Starship taking a few hits. Scene changes
to show Riker and then Wesley dead! A massive (no, not that big - even
bigger!) "Star Trek:The Star Trek Parody" logo "beams in" on the screen in
the usual Star Trek manner. ]
FIND OUT IN THE FIRST EXCITING PREMIERE EPISODE OF
"STAAAAAR TREK:THE STAAAAAR TREK PARODY",
COMING NEXT, RIGHT AFTER THE ADS.!
[ Cue an ad. for SAAB cars, one for PONTIAC, and trailers for Terminator II
and for Star Trek VI ]
...Star Trek:The Star Trek Parody...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This weeks episode: "What If...The Orignal Enterprise Crew Battled The Next
Generation Crew?"
-----
The setting: Both crews are in equally matched Galaxy-Class Starships. For
easy ship/crew identification, the original crew are in ship
"A", and TNG crew in ship "D". This is just a war-game
simulation, of course, similar to "The Kobiyashi Maru"
scenario.
-----
Worf...: Sir, ship coming in our sector at warp speed.
Picard.: Who is it?
Worf...: It's the "A".
Picard.: Red alert - shields up - arm phasers and photon torpedoes. [ He gets
out a pad and starts scribbling on it for some obscure reason. ] Go
to 141, 76, 5 mark 4.
[ Meanwhile, back on "A"... ]
Spock..: Captain, sensors detect "D" ahead of us...she's trying to outflank
us.
Kirk...: We'll see about that - red alert - battle stations! Sulu, head for
that ship - warp speed. Chekov, arm all phasers and photon
torpedoes.
[ Moments later... ]
Kirk...: There she is...Chekov, lock phasers and photon torpedos on that
ship.
Chekov.: Veapons locked, sir.
Kirk...: Fire!
[ A salvo of phaser fire and photon torpedoes streak [oo-er!] out towards "D"
.....they hit! ]
Worf...: They hit us! Shields down to 73%.
Picard.: [ More frantic scribbling ] Firing sequence...delta.
Worf...: *At last, a chance to die with honour!*
[ Worf lets loose a salvo of photon torpedoes and phaser blast. The phasers
hit "A", as well as one torpedo. ]
Spock..: Shields down to 85%.....
Scotty.: [ Over comm ] Sair, my poor wee bairns canna' take it no more! The
energizers' bypassed like a christmas tree!
Kirk...: Hang in there Scotty - use auxilary power if necessary. Chekov,
FIRE!
[ Another salvo of phasers and photon torpedoes head out towards "D". They
all hit! {You can see I am biased towards "A", but after seeing Picard's
naff battle against the Klingons in "Yesterday's Enterprise", I don't think
much of his battle techniques.} Both ships pass each other, and start
turning for round 2. ]
Worf...: Shields down to 41%! Forward shields gone!
Picard.: [ Even more frantic scribbling - why did he do all that in
"Yesterday's Enterprise" anyway? ] Go to 142, 76, 3 mark 4. Standby
with the "Picard Maneuver"...
[ Both ships have now sucessfully turned and are heading for each other. ]
Kirk...: FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
[ 2 photon torpedoes hit "D"'s port warp pylon, and the phaser fire shears it
right off. There is a mighty explosion, and the "D" shakes badly. Smoke
pours onto the bridge and a fire starts. Troi is killed by an over-head
beam falling onto her. ]
Worf...: We've lost port warp nacelle!! Phaser power at 30%
LaForge: [ Over comm ] Bridge, engineering here. We can't hold... COOLANT
LEAK!! COOLANT LEAK!! I'm evacuating...estimate 2 minutes till core
shutdown...attempting manual override...
Picard.: [ Even more frantic scribbling - you know, I bet he was writing his
memoirs at the time. ] Have we got enough power for the "Picard
Maneuver"?
LaForge: No way, sir.
Picard.: Damm. Firing sequence sierra.
[ Photon torpedoes and phasers head off for "A". The torpedoes hit, but the
phasers are ineffective. Reports flood in from various decks about damage
and small fires. ]
Spock..: Shields at 55%
Kirk...: Fire! Fire!
[ A multiple phaser and photon torpedo battery hits "D" on the saucer
section. In "D", the fire on the bridge grows... Picard turns to see a very
large piece of shrapnel stuck in Wesley's neck, cutting through his jugular
vein { Hurray! } ]
Picard.: *Well, at least some good has come of this.....*
Worf...: Shields are gone! Photon torpedoes are inoperative! Minimal phaser
power.
Picard.: All power to forward phaser banks. [ Scribbles again on the pad -
perhaps he was writing his will? ] Firing sequence..... let's see
now.....we've had sierra, delta....firing sequence omega.
[ A sequence of phaser shots hit "A". ]
Spock..: Shields down to 40%
Kirk...: Chekov, aim for the middle of the saucer section and fire!
[ Moments later, a multiple phaser and photon torpedo battery head out for
"D"..... ]
LaForge: Manual override didn't work! Core shutdown in 15 seconds!
Picard.: Broadcast on all frequencies.....We surrender.....
Riker..: No! Negative. Nah. Definately not. No way....
[ Another explosion throws Riker onto the floor. He is dead. ]
Worf...: Too late, they fired! *At last I will die in ba.....
KABOOM!
-----
END.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
: PROMO 2 | STAR TREK:THE STAR TREK PARODY :
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Promo announer:
NEXT TIME ON STAAAAR TREK:THE STAAAAAR TREK PARODY...
THE BORG HAVE RETURNED AND HAVE CAPTURED PICARD!
Picard.: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Surrender now and
prepare to be assimulated!
THE AWAY TEAM TRY TO RESCUE HIM...
[ On the Borg ship... ]
Data...: We have come to take you back, Captain.
Picard.: Beaming over to get me will now stop us. Number One's plan is
futile. Join us!
BUT PICARD HAS OTHER PLANS...
Picard.: You cannot escape me, foolish ones. A shield now surrounds this
ship. Beaming is useless. Resistance is futile!
WHAT DOES HE WANT?
[ Cut to Picard and Wesley. ]
Picard.: Wes, your mother never told you what really happened to your father
did she?
Wesley.: Mom, I don't understand?
IS THIS THE END FOR THE CREW OF THE ENTERPRISE?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF
"STAAAAAR TREK:THE STAAAAAR TREK PARODY",
COMING SOON TO A TERMINAL NEAR YOU!